“Put An End to the Empty Chair”

Rev. Kimi Riegel, Sunday, September 18, 2005

Ancient Reading (#600 in Singing the Living Tradition): "The Space Within" by Lao-Tse
Thirty spokes share the wheel’s hub
It is the center hole that makes it useful.
Shape clay into a vessel;
It is the space within that makes it useful.
Cut doors and windows for a room;
It is the holes that make it useful.
Therefore the profit comes from what is there;
Usefulness from what is not there.

Modern Reading: Kathleen Norris, Waiting for Dakota
My old friends were mystified when I would tell them how much I loved being back in church. They regarded religion as irrelevant and challenged me to prove that it could mean anything. As for myself, on Sunday mornings when I found it difficult to leave a warm bed or when my doubts were much stronger than my faith, I had to remind myself why it was I needed to go. It’s the one place I know where I am allowed to sing in public, no matter what my voice sounds like, and where I receive a blessing for just showing up. Even more important, it is a place set aside from the noise and relentless commerce of the world, for giving thanks for all that is larger than myself…for a loving and creative spirit at work in us, and in the whole creation. Like nothing else, it brings me to my senses."It is the space within these walls that makes it what it is. A religious home! But it is what is not here that makes it useful. The demands of our busy lives are not here. The racist, homophobic and sexist attitudes are by and large not here. The crazy world outside is not here. There is space for you here. This is your religious home. Give yourself a minute to settle into that idea. This is your religious home. This is your religious home.

Some of us have been here for decades. We have enjoyed the comfort and challenge belonging to a liberal religious community can bring. We have seen good friendships come and go. We have seen loved ones married and yes, even sometimes buried.

On the other hand some of us have been here for a few weeks. We are fresh with the promise of what community can do for us. We look on those who have been here, who are deeply connected and committed, and anxiously await the same feelings of at hominess.

No matter our length of stay – if you call this “my church” it is your religious home and you like it. Just the way it is!

And this is where they rubber hits the road. We like our church just the way it is. We like to see the familiar people on Sunday morning. We like to have the same smiling faces sitting next to us. We like to know the name of the person serving coffee. We like our religious home just the way it is.

The problem is it can’t stay this way. And the real issue is it shouldn’t.
It can’t because if we were only the same people every Sunday we would soon disappear. Last year we had ten people move away. Ten people we loved whose names and family stories we knew. They are gone now. And only six people joined us. Those are six people who we didn’t know and whose stories we are now just learning. We are glad you are here. This church can’t stay the way it is because it will disappear.

And it shouldn’t stay the way it is. We have so much to offer. We are Unitarian Universalists. “As Unitarian Universalists we take the bull by the horns and create meaning for ourselves, and purpose” We acknowledge the struggles of living and loving in ethical ways. Here we are human and we try to live the best we can, together. There are no dogmas or easy creeds, but most of us like it that way. And you know what? there are lots of others in the world who do too. And more who would if they knew we are here.

And of the UU churches in town we are one of the most friendly. I have done some unscientific and perhaps a bit biased research, but its true we are a friendly bunch. We have a wonderful active welcoming committee structure. We have an exciting building campaign. We have a pretty ok minister. Northwest Unitarian Universalist Church is the place to be. And others deserve to be here too.

I have spoken many times on the call we must all feel to spread the word. There are many people in your neighborhood, at your office and perhaps even in your family who would like a religious home such as this. We have a responsibility to share. You wouldn’t keep a great recipe from a friend. You wouldn’t keep a fantastic vacation spot a secret. We are a fantastic place and its up to each of us to spread the word.

So yes this is your religious home. And yes we like it the way it is but it can’t stay this way. We have to keep the strengths we have and continue to grow.

We have to, as a congregation, make a commitment to grow. We have to grow because we don’t want to disappear and we have to grow because others deserve our good news. But if it were that simple the numbers would be different.

Growth is about many things but part of it is numbers. We are a church of about 140 members. Our typical Sunday attendance hovers around 70. We had 80 visitors last year. We had 6 people join as members and 10 leave.

Nationally we are not keeping up with population growth.  My colleague Rev,. Davidson Loehr paints this picture: “Between 1970 and 2000, the UUA lost over 12,000 adult members in real numbers. But during those thirty years, while the UUA’s adult membership declined by more than 7%, the population of the U.S. increased by over 37%. In other words, when compared with the population of the U.S., the adult membership of the UUA has declined by more than 44% since 1970. Our numbers are now about what they were at merger in 1961, while the rest of the country has grown by nearly half. If we had simply kept up with the population growth, we would have more than 225,000 adult members now. There is no way to pretend that these facts paint a picture of growth.”

Maybe we really don’t want to grow. Change is not easy. If we grow you probably won’t know everyone and you won’t get as much of my personal attention as you do now. Those are majors barriers to growth and change. In church growth seminars they say over and over the hardest transition in growth for churches is from a pastoral size church, where we are now, to a program size church (over 150 members) , where we could be in a few years. Most of our Unitarian Universalist churches are in just such a position. Most of our churches are used to that pastoral size level of connection with each other and the minister. We don’t grow because its uncomfortable.

Here at Northwest Unitarian Universalist Church we fit the classic profile. We have been this size for over 30 years. Oh, the membership might go up a few dozen members but then its back down again, because we like it that way. Its time for a change a permanent change.

It's time to really commit ourselves to having the open door we say we want. We committed to build a new worship space. And we are! We will have the seats. We need to start now to commit ourselves to filling them.
I have talked about the barriers to sharing the word before. Check out the sermon, “Why bring a friend to church?” for details. For the rest of this morning though I want to concentrate on what happens once we get the person here. Once we get beyond the barriers of talking about church, once someone knows we exist, what makes them stay here with us?

The number one reason we have folks stay in this church is because we are friendly. Nearly every new member says they like the feel of this place, they like the people, it feels like a friendly place, the first Sunday they felt welcome, and on and on. That is our strength and we can build on it.

Generally speaking growth in pastoral size churches like ours is dependent on the minister. Growth research says people generally stay in the church because of the minister when it is as small as we are. It can’t be about me. And thankfully here it isn’t. We need to build beyond that. Each of you has to take on the personal objective of making this a home for visitors.

We seem to be getting the word out. Eighty visitors in a year, that isn’t counting family visiting for the weekend, is about right if of those eighty we really connect with 16 of them.

In order to keep up with our more mainline neighbors for our 80 visitors we would need to have at least 10 new members last year. To keep up with our more conservative neighbors we would need 16 new members for those 80 visitors. For us that would be just about right. 16 new members a year would just go a bit beyond keeping up with those that move or drift away.

Several of us got together last spring and committed to growth. But that will not grow the church. You are it! If you want this place to be here for your kids and grandkids you have to make the commitment today to help us grow.
It is not a commitment of your money, at least not today. It is a commitment of your time and caring. If we each make the effort to grow this congregation it will happen.

First, wear your name tag every Sunday. If you have it on we will all know you want the place to grow. If you don’t have one ask Doug Whitehouse you will get one. If you forget yours this week make a temporary one. Its easier for new people to feel connected if we know your name.

Secondly, take five minutes each week to look around the room and talk with one person you don’t know. This is tough. Today people will be particularly uncomfortable because I said it. But all good habits take time to establish. We all like talking to our friends especially if we don’t usually see them during the week. However, if we are not careful, we can easily become a church of cliques, friendly only to each other. To build on our strengths we can become even more friendly just five minutes at a time.

Thirdly, make a call. If you see someone is missing on Sunday. Maybe the person you sit next to or your kid’s friend is not here, make a call. They will be delighted you care. If you find out there is a problem call me. Many people drop from churches because they are struggling with life. This should be the place you come to not hide from. Lets build on that strength of supporting one another.

And finally, as a family, as a person, especially if you have children, make an effort to be here at least three Sundays a month. The more you are here the more others will be here too. That is particularly true in the Sunday school. Kids come to church for the three “fs” food, friends and fun. If they can guarantee that their friends will be here they are more likely to come. It really isn’t that different for us. You are someone’s friend and they come to see you – so come.

If you want this church to grow wear your name tag, talk to someone new, make a call, and be here. Its that simple and that hard.
Growth is not easy. Change is hard.
But please Remember;
Some came here looking for solace.
Some came here and gave it to them.
Some came here seeking music.
Some came here and gave it, joyfully.
Some came here seeking laughter.
Some came here and created it.

Some came here seeking learning, growth.
Some came here and provided it.
Some came here looking for a sense of security, a safe haven.
Some came here and provided it.
Some came here seeking an escape from hectic lives.
Some came here and enabled them to have it.
Some came here seeking the joy of community.
Some came here and created that.
Some came here wanting to serve.
Some came here and made it possible for them.
I thank you all.